Spiderman 2

People watched from above as Spiderman jumped past the skyscrapers. They stared in awe. (Why? Tell us why. The reader wants to know.)

Reporters rushed to capture pictures of Spiderman. Flashes and clicks were heard. In two split seconds, Spiderman was gone.

Mrs Chien: Very effective use of varying lengths of sentences - some short and crisp and some longer. But you need to learn to develop your ideas.