Old Man3

(One sunny day,) an old man was walking in the park when he tripped over a stone.Fortunately, a young man was jogging in the park. He quickly ran to help him. He asked whether he was badly injured. The old man said that he was all right. He had only a very minor cut on his right knee. The young man was relieved on hearing that. He helped him up and led him to the bench. The young man then applied a piece of medicated plaster over the cut.
After that, he continued jogging, happy that he had done his best to help the old man.

Mrs Chien: You 'tell' too much. A writer describes to help us see and feel the scene and event. Try again. Please see the following. Can you see the man on the ground? Can you feel his pain?

The old man stumbled forward, his wrinkly hand trying to break his fall. Surprisingly he seemed to fall quietly like a leaf from a tall tree. His eyes immediately closed tight. He remained very still as if he was taking a nap except that his legs lay in an unusual position.