(The) Thunder roared and flashes of lightning threatened to tear the night sky. Snow blurred the distant images of the buildings. I strained my eyes to see what laid ahead. The roof of the haunted house was covered with ice. Gusts of wind slammed against the gaping windows. I moved closer and closer to the house. The moment i stepped into the house, i was greeted by the creaking sound of the old door. My hand were clammy and my face was as pale as a sheet. The floor was slippery and i lost my balance and i slipped. I landed with a loud thud and the old door opened, there is a very old man lying right in front of the old door lying dead on the floor. (Gaining my equanimity, i ran out as fast as i could.)
Second half is better and more original. Try not to use descriptions that are memorised. It's so much better when you create your own visuals. Some good images of the icy house.
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1 comment:
wah ... yong zhi ! ur story so good ,very descriptive leh , cool !
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